Friday, September 23, 2011

My first & ONLY tattoo.. *UPDATED PICTURE!*

Inspired by 
tattoo blog post & I decided to share my story as well! :D Thanks, Nadin & Georgie! <3

Phoenix on my Right Side..
Let me start by saying that if you think it's inappropriate and TOO revealing..
"GET THE F*CK OFF MY PAGE!"
This isn't showing boobs, vaj, OR asscrack, so quit being so judgmental. You don't know what I went through or what this piece means to me. I am proud of this and people that are SOOO against tattoos in general all suck donkey balls. 
You don't have to like it, 
but don't hate what you don't understand. 
So, ANYWAYS, I wanted to share a little piece of me with you guys! I would NEVER get a tattoo that didn't mean anything at all to me. Even if I decided to get one in the spur of the moment, I still need to think about what means enough to me for me to permanently mark my body. I DO believe my body is a temple, so this piece and every other piece I will do in the future will mean something special to me whether anyone else can understand it or not. 
How long did this take? 
I did this in 2 sessions!
Outlining = 4 Hours
Shading = 5 Hours

What is a PHOENIX?
A phoenix is a mythical sacred firebird, near the end of it's cycle, it ignites and bursts into flames. In it's ashes, it arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self.  The Phoenix's ability to be reborn from its own ashes implies that it is immortal.
My Story
I've always been a shy and timid girl growing up. I never spoke up for myself. I got walked on all over. I was teased and even stood up for a dance with my middle school crush. My self esteem was pretty low. Anyways, in high school, I got sick. REALLY sick. I'll do a separate post on that when I have time because it's a SUPER LONG story.. But I went through absolutely physical HELL. 
  • I lost my hair due to chemotherapy and worse wigs and hair extensions for a few years. Only a handful of people knew.. or maybe everyone knew, but just acted like they didn't notice?! 
  • I was TOLD I would only have 6-8 months to live.
  • I wasn't told until AFTER my miraculous recovery that I was in a critical state and basically on my deathbed at one point. 
  • I was TOLD I would possibly have a 10% chance if any of EVER bearing kids in the future if I underwent certain procedures, which I did.

I guess my whole family prayed every night and my grandpa prayed to GOD, telling him to let him be sick instead of me.. What's crazy is that when I got better, the doctors had NO IDEA how or why I was recovering so fast out of nowhere! But the sad part is my grandpa is in constant pain and can barely walk now. This pains me immensely. 

After I was out of the hospital, and realizing just HOW precious life is and how close to death I was. I wasn't going to live the same way I did before. I speak up for myself, I stand up for what I believe, I speak my mind, I'm basically living life to the fullest. It was basically like I was RE-BORN.. In the chinese zodiac, I'm a fire tiger, look it up and it describes me perfectly! 

So basically, I'm saying I was re-born from my ashes, I'm still me, a new me, a better me, a me that will not take life for granted. I use to be a wuss when it came to physical pain too.. But after what I went through and all the sh*t I got poked and stabbed with in the hospital, pain doesn't faze me! Come on, we women are better at handling physical pain than men anyways, HELLLERRRR?? CHILD BIRTH!!! x) 

I was 19-years old and this piece didn't even hurt, just popped in my ipod earbuds and zoned out.. It's not as bad as some people make it out to be. After your first piece, you get addicted. But budget wise, I can't be splurging on any more tattoos at the moment. I'm proud of this. My first tattoo and I went all out! 
Go big or go home, right!?!


*UPDATED PICTURE*
A lot of people have asked me even before I got my tatt what would I do when I get older and my skin sags, or if I get pregnant (which I am now). I want to say first that, like I said previously, I was told by my doctors that I wouldn't be able to conceive children, so getting pregnant never worried me. But now that I am, I am more than happy, and I am STILL VERY PROUD and happy about my piece! I know as I get older, my skin may sag, but when I'm older, I won't be showing my tummy to the world anyways, so no biggie. 

If you look below, my tatt hasn't really stretched at all and I know PLENTY of girls that have much bigger pieces that cover their entire stomach and there were no problems after birth. They still look sexy as ever! RAWR!* :D 

31 comments:

  1. "HELLERRR CHILD BIRTH" YESSSS LOOL omg you crack me up. And yes they are so addicting which is why I wanted another one right away. But I love yours! Honestly I don't think I can sit through that, 2 sessions! Not because of pain but because I'm so impatient! How is the tattoo looking now being pregnant? Is it stretching? Maybe you can get some pics up.

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  2. Gorgeous and the detailing is amazing. Props for sitting through all that pain but the outcome was worth it.

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  3. This post is amazing. I really admire you, you seem like such a strong person now after everything you've been through! :)
    & Thanks so much for the wee award :D <33

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  4. That is such a gorgeous tatt and such an amazing story to go with it. I love the shading, it's really impressive.

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  5. Wow your story is really touching. I admire your strength and beauty. The tattoo is stunning and in a way you are a phoenix in beauty and spirit :)

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  6. Awesome tattoo with such a beautiful meaning behind it :) xx

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  7. You're so inspiering Jen! I'm even more pleased for you being pregnant now I know. I feel realy touched that you let your bloggers know your story. Really have love for you. Your tattoo is so hot and meaningful, Still looks great over your bump :), I love your bump. Your comments on my posts have really made me laugh.x

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  8. Love the updated pics! You're belly is looking so good, no strech marks, nothing! Keep us up to date with the baby belly! I wish I took pics while I was prego, I never did and it kinda makes me sad.

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  9. omg you have such an amazing story. I have 3 tats and yours is just too cool!! You must feel amazing being pregnant after being told you wouldnt be able to x

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  10. you have such an amazing story and your tattoo is beautiful! It must feel so amazing being pregnant and having something so precious growning inside after being told you probably wouldn't be able to. xx

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  11. wow your story and tattoo is absolutely amazing!! so glad your fine and healthy now :) very inspirational post. i have a tattoo on my ribs from the side of my boob down to my hip bone so i know how painful that mustve felt! but yours totally paid off!

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  12. a sexy mommy to be! :) love your story ,very inspiring :)

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  13. I wanted to tear when I was reading about ur story when u got really sick and ur grandpa having problems walking T.T.. ( I cry very easily too even when i was watchIng UP)... I once almost coulsn't walked again cuz I injured my knee but my story is NOTHING compared to yours my was so easily solved with supplements and that's it, I just didn't walk for a month.

    I know you will be a loving wonderful mom and when I first saw ur tattoo I thought it was so beautiful never seen anything physically like it but after reading ur story it made it even moreeeee beautiful and meaningful s2..... I think even if it stretches out it's okay too because it would be a beauty mark representing your baby, when he/she grows up u can show it n be proud :D.... Btw do u know if it's a boy or a girl yet?? :D

    keep smiling hun :)
    Alx

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  14. teary eyed here.
    i admire your beauty, your bravery and strength!
    your baby boy is so lucky to have a mom like you..
    i know you'll be a loving and responsible mom.
    I am so excited for you hun..
    to see your bundle of joy ^^
    and, i'm sure after birth you'll still be as sexy as ever ^^
    mmuahh go go go jenn!
    stay fab!
    cheers to all the hot mommas!

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  15. Wow Mama, love the tatt!! Loved this post in general. It was such an inspiration. Thanks for sharing!

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  16. Wow, I feel so inspired by you.

    Thank you so much for sharing with us pictures of your tattoo and the story behind it. I'm so happy to hear that you managed to survive your cancer and even managed to conceive despite all odds against you and I'm sorry about your grandpa's suffering. My god daughter is suffering from cancer and so I totally totally hate cancer. She's a fighter though and is miraculously still fighting on despite results which show otherwise. She's just like you, a warrior.

    I guess people tend to judge girls/ladies for having tattoos. Tattoos on guys are fine and nobody talks S**T about them but when it comes to girls, there's this stigma. I for one see tattoo as an art but my hubby see it as vandalism on the body. I'd wanted to get on my lower back or side of the tummy (near the hips) or on the ankle. I've seen terrible faded tattoos and so I'm a little hesitant on getting. Also, I'm holding back coz the hubby doesn't like it and I would respect him since he's always so supportive of me doing so many things.

    I've just become a new follower as I'm really drawn to your life story.

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  17. WOW amazing.. you are a true fighter....Thanks for sharting this story something so intimate and honestly girl... I am too chicken for a Tattoo BUT idea has crossed my mind...!! You are truly an inspiration and I like the fact that you tell it like it is.!!!! : )


    Blessings hun, and congrats on the baby Boy!!!!

    http://glamstyln.blogspot.com/

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  18. I found you through LUUUX and now I'm following you via GFC and twitter. I love your blog and especially this post. I admire you for what you had to go through and being so strong now! I love your tattoos especially because of the meaning and also cuz I love tattoos myself. I've been wanting a phoenix for so long because of it's meaning too. Yours look stunning--great artwork for ur very first one~! Congratz on your baby boy.

    XOXO,
    Tanya

    http://www.aLiLofevrything.com

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  19. It really moved me what you just wrote jennY. Obviously, people shouldn't be judging other people with amazing tattoo or just straight up tatooes that people don't understand what it means. This tatoo means something to you and you are proud of it so why not embrace it right? it's your idea, your art and it was your experience through life that gave you this idea. so I'd say Bravo to you for doing something you believe in. And another thing is, what moved me the most about your grand dad too :( I really hope he is okay, he did so much praying for you and hoping you got better, in which you did and in turns he is now in pain :( I hope you guys will pull through this! and another thing is, I am so happy your pregnant!!!!!!! cus you was told you wouldn't be able to concieve so congratulation to you! Alot of love and hugs goes to you, your baby and your family!

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  20. This is the first time i read ur story and i get inspred my self, i dont feel really preatty and suffer too much , my autostiem is low also , but i get inspired cause u are such a strong woman, u suffer pain and u win in life
    i admire u :)
    Ps: no worry about the tatoo skin stretchs after birth
    kisses

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  21. Love your baby belly!!
    Congratulations or your baby and the
    new freedom to know speak your mind!

    Life is like photography we develop from the negatives!! :o)

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  22. Wow, that is a beautiful piece! And just my experience, but I have a large tattoo across the bottom of my stomach under my belly button and when I was pregnant it didn't really stretch out too much, and it went right back to normal after I had my daughter.

    Congrats!! :D

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  23. What an amazing post. You are an inspiration hun!

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  24. This might be a little out there but I love you! I didn't go through nearly as much as you might have but I was the same as you were when you were young. & something happened to change me! It's nice to know other people where the same when they were young too. &I love your belly! I can't wait to have children. I'm so happy for you that you can! :D

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  25. I just read your story behind the tattoo and I am at a loss for words. You are so incredibly inspirational. I hope everyone has that outlook on life!

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  26. Omg, you are sofa-king sweet! Thank you for your kind and encouraging words! :) Your sweet comment has made my night! Thank you!

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  27. I am so very proud of you! I am touched and honored by your story. Thank you for sharing your tattoo with us, and inspiring me to maybe show mine. I'm still a little shy, but we shall see. God bless you! 

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  28. Please do share! I love seeing and hearing stories of everyone's personal ink. Everyone has a different tale to tell and they are all so inspiring!

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  29. Hi Jen, I'm a new reader on your post..this is really my first time to read your blog.. and I think there's a reason why of all blogs, I came across yours. :) when I read your post about your baby and saw the word "CHEMO".. i got really curious.. so i went through your blog more. Yes, it may take me a MONTH before commenting, but I really HAVE to say you are such an inspiration.. I myself is a cancer survivor too and we have the same personality.. You're such a blessing and, I may not know a lot about you but I'll sure follow your blog. God Bless you pretty jen :)))

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  30. you have some true strength jen. always keep your head up

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